Mythology / 7 min read / 28 July 2021

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Lazy Science Reader,

If you know even an inkling about Greek Mythology, chances are you have already heard about The Almighty Zeus. If you haven’t, that’s totally fine, this is a good place to start. Only he wasn’t all that great. Confused? Understandable. To gain a better understanding of his character, let’s go back to the time when nothing existed (not even dinosaurs).
In the very beginning, there was nothing. A lot of nothing. No one had a pen and paper to write down what was happening, therefore, there are a lot of versions to this, this one just seemed most plausible to me. So let’s get the basics of this super dysfunctional family right first.
After nothing, which is called Chaos today, (you might wonder, “But there was no one talking so why Chaos? I have no idea, maybe they enjoyed irony), matter got collected and solidified and gave itself a name - Gaia, the Earth Mother. Wow, that’s more work that I as a fully functional human being get’s done in a week, that Chaos, which is essentially a soupy mist, got done in a day. Gaia was basically the earth: the rocks, the mountains, the H&M store near my house, everything.
Twist: She had the whole shapeshifting thing going on, i.e., she could walk across the earth. Basically, earth could walk on earth. She was serene, a flowing green dress, beautiful black curls and a godly smile. Yeah, you could just imagine yourself as a kid playing in her lap. I would suggest, STOP. Why? Continue reading to find out. Now, eventually, Gaia got bored. She wanted company. Chaos listened to her. This is where sky comes in. He liked to call himself Ouranos ( It’s pronounced Uranus, no I don’t know why). They fell in love and got married. Insert montage.
Happily ever after? Nope.
The Problem: Chaos wanted to be an engineer. After the success of two of its creations – It said what I say after I solve two calculus problems successfully, “Hey! I wonder what else I can do?” and somehow it always ends up with me crying. Anyways, Chaos created all sorts of problems, sorry, Gods. Water from the mist got created to the first seas ever, which developed consciousness and thus The First Sea God (not Poseidon, he comes in later): PONTUS. After that, Chaos went nuts. It made a bottomless pit of goop. Not kidding. This was Tartarus- The Pit of Evil. He liked to live below the earth in total darkness. He wasn’t that nice. At this point, you might be thinking, fine, Chaos created the sea god, evil murky pit, how did this mess with Gaia and Ouranos’s relationship?
Wanna find out? Stay tuned for Part 2!

Fun Facts :

  • Throughout history, Gaia was primarily worshipped in open nature or in caves, but the ancient rule of Delphi, 100 miles northwest of Athens on Parnassus Mountain, was one of the primary places she was celebrated.
  • The name Uranus is 2500 years old. Also, it is the only name adopted from Greek Mythology for the planets of the solar system. All the other planets are named on The Roman Gods.
  • The word Uranus comes from urine. Now, here, the urine doesn’t mean the general meaning we attach to it. In Greek and Sanskrit, the word means rain. Now, it’s only fair that the name of the God of Sky would be connected with a word which means to rain.
  • You know what they say, be careful what you wish for. Turns out Eos, the Goddess of Dawn, forgot about it. She begged for immortality for Tithonus from Zeus but forgot to ask for eternal youth. So, he shrivelled away into a wizened, pipening husk.
  • Apollo, the God of Light, Healing, Music, Art, etc. slayed the Python, the dragon guarding the navel of the earth.
  • Ever wonder why you couldn’t find much on Hestia, the goddess of fire and hearth? That’s because she was not allowed to leave Mount Olympus.